Airport Security: Scancer or the Pet Down?

Let me get this straight. If I want to fly, my choices are to have a stranger see me naked or to be fondled by a stranger! Before TSA started the more intense frisking, I always refused the scanner. Not because of someone seeing me virtually naked. A good laugh never hurts anyone.

Doctors and nurses and morticians see people naked all the time—why not TSA scan viewers? Even though I’m at an age where it should be illegal to wear a swim suit in public, that’s not what bothers me about the scan. It’s the radio waves or whatever they shoot you with. How do we know they are safe?

My parents bought my childhood shoes at a store with an x-ray machine. You put the new Buster Browns on and inserted your toes in the machine. When you pressed the x-ray button your parents could see how close your toe bones came to the end of the shoes. Of course, eventually x-rays were found to be harmful and these machines disappeared. It’s a wonder I don’t have toe cancer.

But that’s the thing. I’ve already survived two kinds of cancer. I don’t want to expose myself to another cancer while being exposed at the airport. So I plan to let them frisk me. I might even giggle or moan while they do it—make the frisker feel as uncomfortable as I do!

But what about pilots and flight attendants not being subject to the new rules? Won’t that defeat the purpose of having stricter guidelines? Don’t let terrorists know they can buy a uniform and two fake IDs and get on an airplane without being scanned or patted. That sounds scarier than cancer from radio waves.

What think ye?